Finjuries

As it turns out, finjuries aren't just for people. I got a call from the Board Medic last night telling me that my fin box is loose. I guess when Bluepath's fin hurt me, I hurt it, too. Sounds like a dysfunctional relationship. So they're going to replace the fin box. Poor Bluepath... one operation after another!

I'm sitting in the dentist's waiting room right now waiting to get my chipped tooth fixed.

Yesterday, under Johnny's instructions, I climbed the orange route without using the side wall at all... twice. It was not easy... but what it was was definite progress.

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Douche vs. Colostomy

I've never understood why "douche bag" is an insult... why not call someone a colostomy bag? It makes much more sense. One holds cleaning solution, the other shit. Seems to me to be a no-brainer.
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Still sleep deprived, apparently.

Note: I fell asleep while composing this yesterday, so I'm back dating it for midnight +1 minute.

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I tried to come up with a list of surf injuries for this season, but I had trouble compiling the list... possibly because I suffered a level 1 concussion on Wednesday when I dinged my board with my skull.

I know that there's a chip on my right central incisor (getting it fixed Wednesday morning)... there's a hard, longish bump on the front of my right tibialis anterior (a "finjury")... there's still a sore spot on the left side of my jaw... there is a collection of big bruises on the insides of both arms... there's a big bruise on the inside of my left thigh... my left ear has taken to ringing and my right ear just plain hurts...

One thing that I've noticed though... is that all the pain is coming from getting whacked and not from over-exertion... this can be interpreted as progress... I've been surfing so much that my arms and back don't get sore now unless they get whacked... progress! If I could figure out which waves to go for and when so as to avoid getting whacked... that would be even more progress.

I loaded my 11' NSP into the car today... and went and got a thermal rash guard thing to keep warm... both my winter wetsuits are super holey... and the shop hasn't received their shipment of winter suits yet. I don't shop around... so I have to stay warm and wait. I didn't go out for a surf tonight though... I checked a few beaches, but the onshore wind was pretty strong... besides which, I didn't have Bluepath... so I went for a climb.

It had been over a week since I've climbed... I was the only one there... so the climbing gym dude belayed me... and gave me step by step instructions on two very familiar routes. His instructions made those routes so difficult that I couldn't do them... in fact, it made them so difficult (and me so tired) that even when he told me to do my own thing, I kept getting lost and stuck, like I would on difficult routes that I had never been able to do. I had no more strength in my hand grip by the end of the session. So I guess I have to keep going... and often... until like Beowulf, my hand grip has the strength of 30 men.

During my short trip to Victoria earlier this month, I noticed that hoodies are not that common an article of clothing-- very few people, in fact, wear hoodies. I used to know this... but having sartorially acclimatized myself to Tofino, I had forgotten that hoodies are, in North America, commonly considered the outerwear of choice for skaters, surfers, and criminals, rather than something owned and worn by a majority of the population, such as, let us say, a sweater. Ever since I remembered this detail about the hoodie-free world in which I used to live, I have been mentally transposing hoodie wearers into various other environments, with great comic effect. Picture a big mechanical arm coming out of the sky, picking up five people in hoodies from downtown Tofino, and dropping them at the intersection of Pender and Thurlow... the mechanical arm notwithstanding, this would turn heads-- half the hoodies would be on age and income inappropriate people. I am performing these and other mental exercises in order to not get too lost in the far, far away planet of Tofino. Always ask... "how would this look at the corner of Pender and Thurlow?"... normal here isn't normal elsewhere... it's good to try and remember.

Back at the medic's

Bluepath is at the Board Medic getting looked after. Remember how I said I got whacked in the head on Wednesday, and that it really hurt? Well, as it turns out, I totally dinged Bluepath with my skull. I'd forgotten all about checking for dings (just never had to, for all of these years)... and today, while I was being slow, DCMS was checking out the Bluepath. He wanted to see the repairs that Stefan did last time, when I dropped my board on gravel... and then he found this huge ding! At first, I wondered where the ding came from... but upon closer examination (and you can see this if you click on the photo)... there was a hair caught in the broken glass in that ding! So DCMS helped me tape it up and we went for a surf... I caught one super awesome ride that was so fast, I couldn't walk to adjust where I was on the board, I hopped.

When Stefan saw the ding, he pressed on it, and found the whole ding to be mushy. He's apparently going to have to backfill it, and put on new cloth. I don't know exactly what that means... but he tells me that my head actually went into the board when it hit... the foam bounced back, but the glass is all broken and delaminated. He was really surprised that I wasn't knocked out. Apparently I have a hard head... I guess that's not news, is it?

Bad Wife

Remember how I said I had to check for dings? I didn't! I forgot all about it... and today, DCMS was looking at Bluepath and pointed out this huge ding, which he helped me tape up.
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Car le monde et les temps changent

ULTE1 parked on my driveway today. In the two years, eleven months, and twenty-seven days since I met him... he had never once parked on my driveway. I was a little surprised, and asked him whether there weren't other parking spots... he seemed amuse by my comment.

Maybe it means absolutely nothing, and he gave it no thought... but somehow, this goes against my understanding about where we park our cars. Sure, I park in his driveway all the time... but I don't have five million of my friends living on his street and driving by his well-treed house twenty times a day.

I was sufficiently neurotic about this turn of events that DCMS is now crediting himself with having upset the delicate balance of my ULTE with ULTE1, which appears to me to be a skull-sized kingdom's ruler's assumption-- I doubt that ULTE1 pays enough attention to notice... and am attributing this to the cyclical oscillations that are inherent in LTEs.

The Perfect Excuse...

We are one another's soul mates, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we could never be together; we will therefore remain alone for the rest of our days, subsisting on the knowledge that we are profoundly and steadfastly connected by the most intense and perfect love. It's very Héloïse and Abélard.

Blargh!

It's an old story and a bad one. Why do so many insist upon it? To become more comfortably ensconced in our tiny, skull-sized kingdoms? To justify being uniquely, completely, imperially alone, day after day?

By definition, if it doesn't work, it isn't perfect. So let's just all move on already. I shall repeat this to myself during my surf session tonight-- the only thing that's perfect in this type of set up is the excuse.

The Conditions Are Poor

WNW winds today... the Cox Bay parking lot was empty, so I didn't even bother checking. I went straight to Long Beach... and, when I pulled into a parking spot at Incinerator, Ralph et al were standing and staring at the surf. I walked up, said hi, glanced and the surf, said "whatever," and went back to my car. "Are you going out in this?" Simon asked.

"Yeah, what else am I going to do, stand here and watch?"

I've learnt that standing with people like that kills my stoke... so I had to go... that, and it gets dark early enough that I had o hurry. I've recently realized that I've given up a whole lot to be out here... which means I had better make the best of it... every day. I got suited up... waxed the Bluepath, and went straight in.

"Have fun. We'll take pictures."

Whatever.

I was having an okay time... and then all three of them came out, one by one. Ralph kept saying "The conditions are poor!" over and over again. I was getting a little annoyed... what was he doing out if the conditions were so poor? Later on, I understood that this was meant to take the pressure off his beginner friend... to let her know that she can't catch a wave because the conditions we poor, not because she just can't catch a wave.

Except the conditions really weren't poor. I got a few good rides, and would have had a few more good rides if I had been more focused. I didn't get any new injuries today... didn't get hit in the head, didn't chip any teeth. And Sam was out... so now I know that he is not always the harbinger of surf injuries. My neck is still recovering from yesterday's whack in the head... which reminds me... I should check the Bluepath for skull dings.

Definitely Not Ping-Pong

I got out without even getting my hair wet today. 4 ft on 10 seconds. Got some fun rides... enjoyed some good company... good conversation... and then Bluepath totally whacked me in the head. This time, it was a sidelong assault... I got hit so hard I couldn't even figure out which side I got hit on. Sam tells me that the wave pretty much broke right on my back as I was going for it. Incidentally, I was also talking with Sam shortly before I chipped my tooth... maybe he is the harbinger of surf injuries? For now... I am insanely paranoid about detached retinas...

ULTE1 insists that my chipped tooth is barely noticeable (which means very little, since one of the first things I noticed about ULTE1 almost three years ago was that he had a chipped tooth-- the same one as mine, incidentally... but much more severe.... apparently from a car accident). He said if I were really worried about it, I could wear a mouth guard... but of course, he said, I would never do that because it would be absolutely ridiculous. Indeed, it would be. Another friend wondered why we don't wear helmets... she says some people do wear helmets at Twin Rivers for the rocks... but not here. We concluded, however, that surfing is what it is, and even with a helmet and a mouth guard, one could still get hit in the face... which means one would have to wear a helmet with a face shield... and then... you might as well surf with hockey gear on. This isn't ping-pong.

In other news, buddy with the skull cap seems to have changed into his hooded winter suit. I thought I heard him yell something at me in the surf, but I turned and looked and saw no skull caps. This dude who looked like him said something to me... but since his hood was attached, I couldn't be sure if it was him. It turns out it was, because I matched the board to the car later on in the parking lot (it's a Trevor, same colour as Trevor I, but a 94). I think I am seriously suffering from visual agnosia... or, more particularly, prosopagnosia... I didn't recognise DCMS when he first turfed the mustache, either. Maybe I should see a neurologist.

New word for the day: unhingèdness-- the quality or state of being unhinged. His unhingèdness is a detriment to his business. Her unhingèdness deters suitors. Too bad, were it not for his unhingèdness, we would be fast friends. &c.

Cox Bay Death Paddle

Him: You're going out again? The chipped tooth wasn't enough?
Me: Enough for what? This isn't ping pong. 2m on 12 sec and ESE winds? Of course I'm going out again!

I got out again today. Paddled forever, but got out... and in one piece and with no new injuries (though I have a pretty healthy collection of old ones). I didn't catch any good rides... but I was out there! As it turns out, you don't even have to catch a wave to be on top of the world... just get past the break at Cox Bay and it's close enough.

I spent most of the day freaking out about my chipped tooth. I've made a dentist appointment for next wednesday morning in port alberni to get it fixed. I suspect they're just going to file it down... I can't see them filling in such a small piece of missing tooth... they'd probably have to scratch it up some more to get anything to stick to it... and I'm not sure I want my teeth scratched up.

I have two guests from Brittany staying here. The dude is a surfer... and his girlfriend doesn't speak English at all... so it's been interesting to note that despite the fact that I don't know any French surf terms, I'm able to have a pretty good conversation about surfing in French... but I guess the fact that the surfboard m'a cassé une dent would make good conversation in any language.

FREAKING OUT!!

HOLY CRAP!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I felt this rough spot on my right maxillary central incisor... and went and looked in the mirror... and saw that I chipped a tooth!!! ACK!!!! I chipped a tooth!!! BLARGH!!!!! I CHIPPED A TOOTH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH!!!!! A CHIPPED TOOTH!!! I CHIPPED A TOOTH!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!

OH MY GOD I CHIPPED A TOOTH!

I don't know how it happened... with my overbite... how did I manage to chip the front of that tooth??? Did I chip the tooth on my board? Does my board have a ding in it from my tooth? WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!?! AAAARRRRRGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slightly mis-aligned

Today was supposedly a day for doing school work... but I was so tired that I ended up dropping one of my courses instead. I could probably get it all done... but I gave it some thought and I just don't feel like stretching that much... and for what... to finish a degree in two years? I've done the must-get-done-as-quickly-as-humanly-possible thing before... and I could probably do it again... but why, if it's going to take out what little joy there is in life to get it done?

Today was the last day for dropping a course for a 100% refund... so I dropped the public sector governance course and kept the microeconomics course. Yay me for recognising that a full time job, a business, and two courses is too much to get done... or at least too much to get done and still surf and live a little.

I wasn't going to go for a surf today though... I was simply too tired. Hiking the wild side on two hours of sleep was ill advised. Actually, doing anything on two hours of sleep is ill advised.

But DCMS called me just before 6 and asked if I wanted to go for a surf... well, I always want to go for a surf, but I wasn't feeling like I should, being completely exhausted and barely able to move about. He convinced me to go (mainly, I suspect, because he wanted to go for a surf and wanted me to give him a ride... but that's all good, because I need all the push I can get to get out there everyday)... and we went to Cox. We didn't check... Cox was supposed to be good according to the reports and the rumours... so we got suited up and went.

When I saw the surf, I felt that I had made a terrible mistake. It looked exactly like that impossible paddle out on Friday. We were told to go left in the parking lot... so we walked left... and as I was walking, I was thinking that this might be another one of those days when I have to give up on getting out... especially since I was so incredibly tired. DCMS said "I'm going in"... and I replied "I can't see this ending well!"...

I paddled... and paddled... and caught up to DCMS... and paddled... and paddled... and got half a wave ahead of him... and paddled, and paddled... and got a wave or two ahead of him... lost sight of him... kept paddling... and as I paddled, saw ralph catch this perfect ride on his 12' board... encouraged, I kept going.. and going... and soon enough, I was out. It wasn't easy... but it didn't feel impossible, either.

I caught a super fast right-- it was so fast I couldn't do much of anything... just adjusted my stance and shifted enough that I could stay on it and be in the right place on the wave... until it closed out. Then I caught a super fast left-- I was too far forward on the board, so turning was difficult... but I was going so fast that I didn't feel that I could get to the back of the board... I turned up and down the wave impressively many times (impressive to me, anyway)... and then there were two surfers coming up that I wasn't absolutely confident I could get around, so I turned up the wave and pulled off the back, and sat down on my board with what seemed like perfect control... the dude that I could have run over (or maybe got around), said "Nice...." to which I responded with a short "Woohoo" and paddled back out.

There were definitely good rides to be had... and I ended up chatting with someone I know but hadn't seen in a while... he has a very similar looking board... blue, two stringers... but much smaller... I think he said it was a 9'6". While we were chatting, I saw this gigantic wave crashing waaay outside, there were still two waves in between us and it. We paddled out past the two waves, each of which amost crashed right on us... in front of the big crasher, I turned around and held on to my board with a Beowulf grip. I survived the first crasher... and the second... and the third... it was a gigantic clean up set... the biggest I'd seen in recent memory... quite possibly simply the biggest I've ever seen. The fourth and last one got my board and flipped it... the tail hitting me in the chin and slamming my jaw shut. That was the last wave of the clean up set though... and I paddled back out and we confirmed that no one died in that one... contrary to expectations.

My chin wasn't bleeding... but my teeth all felt funny. As it was getting dark, I decided to go in. I caught one in and started walking to the trail. DCMS was already on the beach. He ran into the water to rinse his board off, then caught up to me. Apparently, he didn't get out... paddled hard but drifted down the beach before making it out and gave up... and sat on the beach and watched the sunset instead.... I was a little surprised. He gave up... and I got out. He's far better a surfer than I am... but couldn't make it out and gave up... there's something unbelievable about that. I can't believe that I got out when I didn't think I would... and had a great session despite being exhausted before I even started. I've never been the surfer who had a great session while someone else couldn't make it out and stayed inside or on the beach... I'd always been the one who couldn't make it out... mainly because I've always been the weaker surfer. I still am the weaker surfer in this pair (not that we're a pair)... so this is something entirely new.

Also new is my slightly mis-aligned jaw and aching ear.

Keeping the stars apart

The day after giving up paddling out at Cox Bay, I went and checked the surf at North as ULTE1 suggested... there was nothing going on... so I went and checked Cox... it looked exactly as it did the day before... and knowing that it was a southwest swell, I went to check Long Beach. I parked at incinerator, and didn't even bother to get out of my car. I had the car door open, and stared at the surf, which didn't look as if it was offering any rides, never mind good, chill-out, long ones.

Buddy with the skullcap (the one Karen mistook for BNs) walks over to my car and asks why I'm sitting in my car and not surfing when there are the excellent lefts out there for my big blue board. I tell him that I don't see any rides. He tells me I'm jaded. I explain that I am somewhat used up from the evening before at Cox Bay, when I got swept all the way to the land of the lefts without being able to get out. He tells me that he was there with me (in an oddly ominous voice) and that it really was rough out there. The back and forth continues for a bit... and he convinces me to go out, despite that I wasn't really feeling it.

I went out at incinerator, and paddled and paddled and in no time at all, I was right by Lovekin Rock and still five million waves from getting out. Dammit. Two nights in a row. I couldn't give up though... not two nights in a row... not at two different beaches. I kept trying to get out, growing increasingly resentful at buddy with the skullcap who convinced me to go for a surf, thereby putting me in the situation of having to give up two nights in a row. As I got closer and closer to Lovekin and nowhere near being able to get out, I caught a broken wave in and walked into the beach. I was tired... used up... and by then, jaded, in just about every sense of the word. I couldn't give up though... if I gave up two nights in a row suffering such demoralizing defeat, who knew what it would take to get me back out in the surf the next time... so I walked the 50lb Bluepath all the way down past incinerator and tried again.

I got out.

By the time I did though, I was almost too tired to paddle for a wave... which was too bad, because there actually were good rides to be had... I watched a while, went for a few, and when I got a ride that ended on the inside, left-- utterly used up.

That evening, I went home, showered, and made macaroons and cookies to bring to Alec and Darlene in Ahousaht. Laura and I caught a really early water taxi and went for a walk on the Wild Side. I dropped off the cookies and macaroons, along with a thank you card from DCMS (which was odd and a little difficult to wrap my head around... because for reasons that I'm not yet able to understand, it seemed really important to me to somehow convey the fact that DCMS and I are not together... it's a moot point, really... but still... it seems important to me to let these people who do no know me know that I'm not with him. They have no reason to believe that we're not together, and so I have no way of introducing the idea that we aren't, especially since it's a detail of no importance to anyone. And it isn't so much about me not wanting to be associated with DCMS as it is about me not wanting to be associated with anyone. I can't even conjure up an image of someone with whom I would want to be associated...).

We made it to the first open beach past the creek after Kutcous Point. This beach is probably my favourite on the trail. It's the first beach after a long stretch in the woods... it's beautiful when one arrives there... but when one climbs the rock and looks down upon it, it becomes something entirely different again. I don't know what the name of that beach is... but that's where I took the photo from yesterday, and where I took the shoe photo last week.

Hiking with Laura is pretty chilled out... she decided that we should take a nap on that ledge and turn back. Having only had two hours of sleep that night, I quickly fell asleep on that rocky ledge. We got back to the dock before 3PM, leaving plenty of time to catch a water taxi. On our way back through the village, a big black dog fell in love with Laura, and followed her all the way to the dock, and stayed, and looked longingly at her as our water taxi pulled away.

I think I am still too tired today for anything. I shall spend the rest of my day reading my economics textbook... which is a good thing... because I am terribly, terribly behind on my school work.

So. Tired.

Here is a picture I took with my sony ericsson phone on the Wild Side Trail today.

The beginning of the end?!?!?!!!

OH NO! I gave up trying to get outside at Cox Bay yesterday!

It was rainy hard enough to feel like a wintery day. The surf was around 2m high, which is big... but not that big. DCMS checked North, and we decided to surf at Cox. I went out with Bluepath straight into the surf from the access at 1431... and I kept paddling out... and paddling out... and, at first, it didn't seem to be that difficult a paddle... I was having no trouble keeping up with DCMS, which is unusual for me, because usually, when I paddle out with some guy, I'm so many waves behind that I can't even see him... and by the time I get out, it looks like they've been sitting there forever-- this isn't necessarily true, but it feels true. Yesterday, for the most part, he was only about half a wave ahead of me. I kept paddling out... and... eventually, he got a wave or two ahead of me... then I see him take a broken wave right into the beach. I re-evaluate... look around... and find that I've drifted so far down the beach that I am almost at the land of the lefts... nay, that I was at the land of the lefts! I wanted to keep going... because it didn't look impossible... and I didn't want to give up... but as I got even further into the land of the lefts and making no progress to the outside, I got a broken wave in and walked over to DCMS, "what are you doing?" I asked. "Going to get some rides at North." I looked at the surf again... I could stay and keep fighting... but I wanted to get rides... so I went to North.

I gave up. It was the first time I gave up this season. It was the first time I gave up on the Bluepath. I gave up. And it wasn't giving up after I got out... it was giving up before I even got out.

We went to North... I got crappy close out rides.

Quote

"World Peace Day? I'm off on Monday, I can spend all day in the pot tent!"
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Quote

"I'm not even willing to give up brown rice for you... and I don't even like brown rice!"
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Focus

Uh oh. I'm not surfing enough. I need to surf more. I must go surfing tomorrow. I must go surfing tomorrow. I must go surfing tomorrow. If I took a 30K pay cut to be here, I'd better be surfing every day... maybe even twice a day.

I've been distracted and not surfing everyday. I was on Flores all day on Sunday (yes, I stayed overnight in a small village that has confirmed cases of swine flu; no, I am not concerned) and was hanging out with DCMS on Monday night debating the finer points of semantics. Tuesday was a disappointing surf day with microwaves and lots of shortboarders. Wedenesday was... yesterday... I had a Care Bear play date with a friend's 4 year old. I still feel the same as I always have about children, but this kid is pretty cool. She's 4, speaks in grammatically correct full sentences, and loves Care Bears. I brought my 8 Care Bears over and we had a Care Bear night... watched the Care Bear Big Wish Movie and coloured Care Bear colouring pages with wax crayons... I went home with 7 Care Bears-- this is progress in putting aside childish things... which seems somehow important seeing as I'm turning 30 in a few months.

Tonight was dinner with a bunch of work friends and then climbing. I haven't climbed in I don't know how long... and I was really feeling it. But it was probably also sleep deprivation. I didn't end up going to bed yesterday until 2AM... busily learning the difference between fuckiness and non-fuckiness... and being grateful for that which is comfortable, familiar, and drama-free. Anything more complicated than absolutely straightforward is going to detract from my focus... and that's what I need right now... focus on surfing every day. Every day. EVERY day... starting tomorrow.

The Cheque is in the Mail

I got an e-mail from my old compensation advisor today telling me that my annual leave has been cashed out and that I'll be receiving a cheque in the mail soon. I asked her how much I should be expecting... it was a surprisingly large amount, especially since I used up as much of my leave as I could prior to leaving that job.

So I looked up the rate of pay for my old job... and then had to spend the rest of the afternoon repeating the phrase "I am perfectly happy here"...

I knew I took a pay cut to come here... but I didn't know that it's a $30,000 pay cut. Holy crap... intel analysts get paid way too much.

I am perfectly happy here.

I am perfectly happy here.

I am perfectly happy here.

I am perfectly happy here.

I am perfectly happy here.

I am perfectly happy here...

It is in my nature...

I can't stop procrastinating! I should be doing work on public governance and microeconomics, but instead, all I want to do is talk on the phone and write on here. I don't know what the rest of the week is going to look like... but one thing is for sure, that power outage taught me nothing.

I've been giving my perfect day a lot of thought... and I want to retell the story from the beginning. But to jump ahead for a second... I went out for a surf tonight in the microwaves. It was probably the most disappointing surf since June. It was small and crowded... and I ran into SAIS in the parking lot. I wasn't very friendly... I'm afraid I might be harbouring a bit of resentment about his role in the thwarted sticker bombing... that, and I find his conversation dull and uninteresting-- there is nothing about either his nor my B&B that interests me enough to be a topic of conversation. In fact, at this time of the year, I'm sufficiently done with it that I find myself almost pretending that I don't have a B&B to run. But never mind all that...

How did I end up having to rely on the kindess of strangers?

I have, as evidenced by an earlier entry on here, considered the possibility of getting stuck in Ahousaht and not being able to get back to Tofino before even committing to going on this hike. I knew that it was a possibility... but chose to do nothing about it. This was due mostly to the fact that I've been trying something different lately. I decided to train myself to count on other people... and DCMS, being a far superior outdoorsman, seems to me to be the perfect person with whom to complete this training exercise. To this end, I did a few things differently. First, I left the transportation details to him entirely. Second, I did not research the route we are taking, except for to find out how long it is. Third, I decided to under-pack for the hike, despite that I always over-pack with emergency supplies and extras for others. Previously, people counted on me to be prepared... now, it was my turn to count on someone else. Without consultation or coordination, I assumed that he would be packing the emergency supplies. I brought only what was personally required for myself, with nothing for contingency. My assumptions proved to be correct very early on. DCMS had packed everything, up to and including a neck brace-- seriously.

This is more control than I have ever relinquished. Surprisingly, it wasn't all that difficult.

On one of the many beaches we walked on, there were many moonsnail shells strewn about. I have not been one to take things away from beaches... but while on this beach, I thought it would be an excellent idea to take a moonsnail shell back to Tofino to send it to Tina, who would then be obligated to bring it back to Flores Island. I haven't heard from her in far too long... so I decided to poach this shell and make her come out. Of course, I've got to get it to the post office first...

I want to go back to that trail again, and-- I can hardly believe I'm saying this-- would probably camp for a night in order to spend more time on the beaches. On our way there, I was looking forward to seeing every beach again on the way back... but because DCMS was seriously limping by the time we got to the end-- he was really not in a good way... walking with two sticks and took up my offer to carry his pack for him (this was actually a little impressive, almost every guy I know would have been too macho and stupid to hand it over)-- we didn't come back the same way we went out... so now I feel like I'm not quite done and want to go back.

As much as this was an exercise for me in relinquishing control, I believe it was an exercise for DCMS is figuring out what to do with me... I was stuck in his "to sort" pile and didn't quite fit in any of the categories with which he organizes the people in his life. It felt at times like he was testing the properties of an unknown substance.

(I had to back-date this post... I fell asleep while composing it... and I'm not likely to finish it any time soon... this is bad... I'm bordering on narcoleptic...)

A Photo from Somewhere

I don't know the name of this beach, but it was one of many on the Wild Side Trail on Flores. A perfect spot to stop for lunch, and take a shoe picture-- first one in years.
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A Perfect Day

So... DCMS and I decided to do the Wild Side Trail on Flores Island. This trail starts in the village of Ahousaht, a first nations reserve, links together a series of remote sandy beaches, and ends 11kms later in Cow Bay.

We had originally agreed to meet at the 1st Street Dock at 8:45... but he hit the snooze button a few times too many and we were delayed by about a half hour.

The trail was beautifully designed and maintained, and led to many inspiring places. The hike presented me with beauty beyond what I knew to hope for.

Before we got to the end, DCMS's right knee began protesting. He decided to drag it along despite its protests, and, while we managed to get to the end, the return trip was less pleasant due to increasing pain and decreasing mobility. I was enjoying the leisurely pace, but would have enjoyed it more had it not stemmed from the suffering of another.

When we got back to the village and near the dock, we ran into a man walking a pack of dogs (this is quite accurate and there's no exaggeration). DCMS asked him how to go about getting a water taxi back to Tofino, and was informed that all the water taxis have already left. The man with the dogs, Alec, invited us to his home and tried to radio a water taxi for us. None, however, was to be had. Alec and his wife, Darlene, gave us tea and bread (with everything that one could conceivably put on bread and in tea) and invited us to spend the night.

I am composing this note in their guest bed. Their generousness moves me profoundly. I am filled with gratitude for the kindness of strangers. I am stuck in Ahousaht, and I am grateful for it.

As for the rest, I guess I'll have to figure it out tomorrow.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Going to Flores with Godot

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New leash...

I'm happy to report that I have managed to log in to those courses and actually get some work done today. I am a little horrified at how seriously everyone takes themselves on the forums... but I guess I had suspected all along that this would be the case... which is why I procrastinated so long on logging in (okay, this, and because it is in my nature).

After a day of getting work done and being productive, I went for a surf with DCMS, whom I'm seeing quite often because his car is still being repaired out of town. When he grabbed his shortboard, he said "So when are you going to start shortboarding?" My god! That is the most offensive question I've heard in a long time... "Never. Does never work for you?"...

So we got to Long Beach... and once in the water, we went our separate ways. I have an 11' board that can easily kill people... so when it's big and therefore likely that I wont' be able to hang on to my board, I forgo the sweet spot and go where I have plenty of room. The surf was big... and there were plenty of closeouts. There were quite a few times when I couldn't hang on to my board... which bounced in the foam while attached to my ankle by a 10' leash... one time, I could see it dance around on the end of the leash... and, when the wave finally let go of my board, it didn't bounce back to me... because the leash had no more elasticity to it.

I caught two excellent rides... both were rights, which I'm not as good at as lefts... but I managed to make some bottom turns and generally be in control of my ride... it was super cool. It started getting dark, and I wasn't going to be able to make it back out past the break that one last time and catch another wave before it went pitch black (oh, and by the way, Orion is back in the sky)... so I went in. DCMS was waiting at my car...

Me- How was your surf?
Him- It was more of a paddle.
Me- But did you get any good rides?
Him- No rides.
Me- No rides??
Him- No rides.
Me- Longboard 1, Shortboard 0!!
Him- You got a ride?
Me- No... actually, Longboard 2, Shortboard 0!!

Mwahahahaha!

A better surfer than I caught nothing on a shortboard... while I had two awesome rides... ha! The only thing that I need to really figure out is how to hang on to this board... DCMS figures I won't be able to do it no matter how hard I try... I don't agree. there's got to be a way. I just need to ask the right person for that one missing detail and then figure it out for myself. In the meanwhile, i think I should look into buying a new leash... this one is a foot longer than it used to be.

Broken Breakfast Note

Three separate breakfast seatings today... and just close enough to the end of the season that I am coming up short on enthusiasm... especially since the last seating is for a couple of grinders-- grouse grinders!

I am, for the first time in a long time, well rested. The early-setting sun forced me out of the surf before 8:30... Bill and his wife were on the beach with their dog... they stood by the rock and waited for me to walk by to ask me how the surf was... it was so dark I couldn't even see who they were until I got within 15 feet of them. The surf was okay. It was supposedly really big. I saw ULTE1 in the afternoon... he told me that he was out twice at North, and the waves were board-breakingly punchy... I expressed my reservations, and he told me I will be perfectly happy at Esowista, that I'm not going to die, that I'm not going to kill anyone else, and that I should go out. I don't think ULTE1 has ever told me I should surf before. So I went... it was really big at Long Beach... but Esowista was manageable... in fact, I got out super easily. There were good peeling waves every now and then... but most were closeouts. I didn't get killed, but got pretty close. It would have been a worthwhile session had I gone out earlier... there was a lot of waiting involved... and it got dark too quickly. It was also the coldest it has been all year. The water was very clear... and very very cold. It was definitely a glove day.

Today, I really must log in and start those MPA courses... and soon, too. Karen is coming out this weekend... and I am considering doing the Wild Side Trail from Ahousaht to Cow Bay tomorrow... it's 10kms... which I can't even conceptualize anymore after all the time I've spent in Tofino. I remember that panorama ridge was a 32km round trip day hike... but what's 20 km? How long is Mount Seymour? or Strachan? or Matier? I can't remember... can't can't can't... not even Elfin, which I'd done so many times... and what if I miss the boat? From what I've heard, I really don't want to get stuck in Ahousaht. This isn't a situation in which I know enough to be fully in control... and I'm not sure I really want to get into a situation like that... my resistance to count on anyone else is pathological.

Falling Behind

Day before yesterday... (my constantly referring to events of days past instead of events of the day is a good indicator that I am running behind)... the assignment was due at midnight. I was 75% done when the power went out at 4:30. Since this is not an unusual occurrence (careless drivers and power poles), I decided to go for a surf...

As there was good surf and no power, everyone and all their dogs were out. Cox was super crowded with locals. No one likes to surf in a crowd... but for me, there is the added discomfort of being surrounded by people whom I cannot recognise but who know me by name. It makes me wonder if I'm suffering from visual agnosia... which, as I've mentioned earlier, is a symptom of Klüver-Bucy Syndrome... frightening!

When I got out of the surf, there was still no power. I made a few calls, and found out that there was no power from Tofino to Campbell River-- apparently an entire substation failed somewhere near Comox-- and that the estimated time of resolution was 10:30PM. It was too close... so I got ready to drive to Nanaimo to finish and send off the assignment...

On my way out of town on the 2.5hr drive in search of electricity, I noticed that one of the hotels has full generator power... so I went there and plugged in... and Iwas going to mess around with downloading a file onto the blackberry via USB cable so that I could send it off... as it turns out they even had a working unsecured wireless connection! I hung out at the lobby and did my work while trying to ignore this 20 year old kid who kept trying to engage me in conversation, and-- this is actually a little amusing-- offered to help me with my writing assignment. After hours of this torture, I went to go get dinner. DCMS had invited me to join him at Way Worse earlier, so I called him-- it was 10:55, the kitchen closes at 11, and I was 7 minutes away... so I got him to order me a tuna burger and went and ate and watched DCMS play pool.

Now that I've had some time to think about it, I realized that small town life has managed to wear me down: two years ago, I responded with an appropriate measure of horror to an invitation from a dude to "watch [him] play floor hockey"... and now, the lameness of watching DCMS play pool didn't even cause the slightest of alarm... but perhaps I was just there for the tuna burger.

As part of his psychological warfare is sleep deprivation, I didn't get to bed till after 4AM. After two hours of sleep, I got up and made breakfast, went to work, and then immediately went for a surf. I was tired, but one is never too tired for glassy chest high peeling waves at Cox. I had a pretty good session... and as I was packing up my board to go home, DCMS walked into the parking lot... he must have gotten in and out after I did. He said hi, I said hi, and then I got the hell out of there... quickly. And that is how attachment disordered I am... for a few days, I thought it might be different... I thought I might be different. But people don't change, do they?

I went for dinner with a friend, and then later fell asleep over ten times while composing an e-mail... it wasn't even a long one... I was just that tired. I didn't even manage to get started on the second e-mail... or make that phone call.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

I'm sorry, I just fell asleep while writing this... I'm going to get some dinner and go for a surf... that's the one place where one does not fall asleep.... and especially not tonight... 2.5m on 14 seconds.

New reason not to procrastinate

Stupid tourists who don't know how to drive and take down power poles.

BLARGH!!!!

I hope to not have to drive to Port Alberni to send off this assignment by midnight. Anyone know how to get a word doc downloaded onto a blackberry? E-mail me if you do.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

I don't speak English...

E-mail and phone messages are piling up. Piling. I apologize.

I shall get to them soon... but now is a time wherein I either sleep or die.

Reality Check

UVic has a rabbit infestation: true.
Everyone wears hoodies: false.
Tall guys who casually use the word "Foucaultian" are hot: cannot be verified at this time.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

The Good Stuff...

I've been surfing and climbing to exhaustion. Surfing hard... and climbing hard. It's all good... but what's been missing is the sort of beauty that can only be found at the Met, Covent Garden, or La Scala... thank god there's youtube. Check out Dmitri Hvorostovsky and Renee Fleming singing Lippen Schweigen and La ci darem la mano. These two act amazingly even at a recital. This version of Lippen Schweigen kills me. I can't imagine watching these two act the whole thing out... it'd be so beautiful that I think my mind would explode from sensory overload.