Waiting for Clean Surf

Not today, but surely tomorrow... and so it has been like this day after day... and this, compounded with my switching back to my short board (9'1"), has taken the fun out of surfing. It just so happens that I have two weeks off work (and closed the B&B for the holidays)... so I've been waiting, and have stopped "going out anyway because there's no such thing as a bad surf"... yeah, actually, there is... in fact, they're all I've had lately.

I also haven't been writing... or, rather, I've been writing only as much as I've been deleting. In a phone conversation this evening, I mistakenly claimed to have deleted more than I have written... I realized immediately that this is not possible, that I could only delete, at most, exactly as much as I've written. I've written and deleted so much lately... there has been a lot of self-censoring... depressing is too often confused with depressed... and even if Schopenhauer was right, no one really cares to hear it... especially not over Christmas... so tap tap tap tap tap and then baaaaaackspace; repeat.

For some good news, I'm going bungee jumping sometime soon... while not having fun in the surf, I decided that bungee jumping would be an excellent idea, especially as it promises excitement while requiring no skills at all, and only a little effort. The bungee jumping place is in Nanaimo... and I've just got to make sure they're re-opening tomorrow. And then I thought that if I make it all the way to Nanaimo, I might as well go to Vancouver for a visit... so... I'm thinking about it... but not all that stoked... I've got all sorts of visitors lined up for Tofino (even better than seeing them in the city... we're all less distracted)... and there's really nothing that I really want to do in the city... nothing I really want to buy, either. My dad then commented that since I've stopped reading, I don't even need to go to bookstores anymore. I hadn't thought of it, but it's absolutely accurate. I used to really want to go to MacLeods (really really really) and Sophia's and the UBC Bookstore... maybe even Oscar's... and even Chapters if I feel like paying too much for a coffee... but not anymore. I don't buy books online now, either. Ever since I was informed that Schopenhauer is "market controlled" and can't be shipped to Canada... I gave up.

Quitting reading is saving me so much money! Not only do I no longer need to pay for books, I don't even need to spend money to travel to bookstores. It's like quitting smoking! "Reading books never caused any cancer," said the person with whom I was speaking on the phone... indeed not... it causes much worse... and most of it probably listed in the DSM-IV. If I ever do decide to pick up reading again, I've got a small stash ready to go, there was a period (now over) during which I kept buying books because I hadn't noticed that I had stopped reading. So there's a stash if I want to read again. Otherwise, I'll spend the next little while clearing out my brain... it might recover as beautifully as an ex-smoker's lungs. Here's hoping.

And... in other news (I'm not sure how I feel about this)... Têtes à claques is now available in English. It's true... I went there just now to see what's new... I hadn't been there for a few months... and there it was... every video I could think of-- redone in English. The fact that they were for the longest time only available in French (and super colloquial Quebec French, at that) was sort of a consolation to me... it validated my learning French... not wholly, I'm not saying that... but it became one of the reasons that I was glad I speak French... it made it all worthwhile. For all my years of work, I was rewarded with the privilege of understanding and appreciating Têtes à claques. What is left to me now but capturing a few extra nuances in French movies, and overpronouncing some names of wines and cheeses? (which, btw, is totally uncool in Tofino, it's like no one even hears the bit that doesn't sound like English) Even Meilleur du chef (source of excellent illustrated recipes) is available in English. Why, in this new world (I heard a rumour than your Ipod will now translate for you??), would anyone bother to learn another language?

Give me something beautiful to make it worthwhile. Send roots rain.

Crappy surf today... does anyone want to go bungee jumping?

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Relax, it's almost over...

I could have titled this post "Merry Christmas"... or... "White Christmas"... but I decided against the former because "Merry" is such a strange word and so rarely used... it brings to mind "The Merry Widow"... which in turn brings to mind the word "Lustige"... and then of course, it looks and sounds so much like the English word "Lusty" that I just had to look it up... and... well wouldn't you know it, dictionary.com provides us with this for etymology:
bef. 900; ME luste, OE lust; c. D, G lust pleasure, desire; akin to ON lyst desire; see list ⁴
Didn't even need to take the OED out of the case for that one. Can you imagine people going around saying "Lusty Christmas"?

And as for "White Christmas"... I decided not to use that phrase because I just can't shake the double entendre in my head. White Christmas? Why yes it is... quite white indeed... and not because of the snow, either... but that's enough about that.

My Christmas plans are very conservative... all I need to do is get out of bed by noon, check the surf report, and go out for a surf if it promises to be good. I have been observing other people's Christmas plans unfolding, and am quite happy to not have to participate in anything of the sort.


Relax, it's almost over.

Gingerbread House

I started making a gingerbread house last Thursday... made a batch of gingerbread dough before going to the Koer's party... then I worked on it all week... and by the time I finished, it looked like this:
And the back looked like this:

Here's a close-up of the front:

And here is a close-up of the fence and trees:

The house (and landscaping) was completed this afternoon. The house was immediately delivered as a Christmas gift. I am in the process of uploading some "work in progress" photos... that will be out on another blog entry...

O Tannenbaume

Here are the beginnings of a royal icing arboretum.
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I wasn't going to mention the silver cars, but...

There's a song by Robert Charlebois called Je reviendrai à Montréal... which I had always found incomprehensible... Montreal winters didn't seem to me to be something one could miss... but the song is all about needing to feel the cold, to really be at one with it, to marry it, even (and that was always the part I found disturbing... the line "me marier avec l'hiver")... this past weekend though, for the first time, I sort of understood it a little.

It started snowing on Saturday while I was out in the surf and continued to snow into the night. On Sunday, everything was covered in snow. The wind was blowing the snow off trees and roofs. Snowflakes shimmered in the air. I remember looking out the window at the Quebec winter and its prohibitive -30 coldness and being told that it isn't too cold to go out for a walk as long as one dresses for it. Cold winters can be fun... for a few days anyway. I looked at Tofino covered in forgetful snow.. and wanted to be outside... to feel the cold... so I dressed for the cold and walked into town... (as it turns out, it only looked cold... it wasn't really)... I got to the park on Third Street (it has a name, and I knew it once) and stood there, looking at Lone Cone Mountain. I then had this urge to climb Lone Cone, in the cold, with the snow. Climbing a mountain covered in snow for some reason seemed like a good idea... maybe because I haven't yet christened these new hiking boots with a winter hike yet... or maybe I'm just thinking of a good day some years ago when I walked up a South Shore land pimple on an insanely cold Quebec winter day.

I didn't climb Lone Cone (logistic issues... it's on the other side of the water)... but I walked a little more. During my short Sunday morning walk, I ran into five people I knew... most of them were in their cars... one was standing beside his. Two rolled down their windows to talk to me. The odd thing was... all the cars were silver. There was a silver Honda Element, a silver Dodge Ram 2500, a silver Volkswagon Eurovan, a silver Dodge Ram 1500, and a silver X-Terra. I wasn't going to mention the silver cars in this note... but Anthony called me and we had a chat... when I told him about the five silver cars... he remarked that Val doesn't like silver cars. That's almost as odd as my running into only silver car drivers during my walk... so I'm now telling you all about it (fascinating, eh?).

When I sold my Pathfinder, I think I sold my courage with it. I use to drive anywhere in any weather condition... now with my RWD Aerostar (which, because it locks up an 11' board, is still the best car ever) I'm afraid to go anywhere in bad weather. And it's snowing right this moment... and I'm already worrying about my commute to work in the morning... it might take me 4 minutes instead of 2... or 12 minutes, even, if I choose to walk because I'm too scared to drive.

Cold

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Another weekend already?

Well... guess where I am.

Third "Weekend at Home" note. Fourth weekend at home. I had given serious thoughts to going to Vancouver this weekend, especially since young Sean (as opposed to old Shawn) offered to give me a ride. My dad is looking after George and could pick me up from Nanaimo either tomorrow or Monday. I could have with minimal effort be in Vancouver this weekend. The expected extreme weather, however, made me not want to commit my dad to driving my car to Nanaimo to pick me up. I would drive (and have driven) in all sorts of crazy weather and bad conditions... I enjoy taking my life into my own hands... and every near-death experience seems to confirm that I'm not quite ready to die yet... but I wouldn't make someone else do it. Besides which, I think I might be avoiding Vancouver a little right now.

But no matter. There is plenty to do in Tofino. I can surf today and tomorrow... the only limitation being that I can't freeze myself to death because I've got a dive scheduled for Monday... which also means I have to make sure I have a dry wetsuit two days from now. Because of my dislike for communal wear and my not having bought the required apparel, I am diving in a surf suit... which is less than half as thick as a dive wetsuit... which is still so cold that anyone who does any diving around here does so in a drysuit. So in short, I'm into suffering.

And I guess when I'm not freezing my fingers off in the water this weekend, I could make a gingerbread house (just found out that instead of actually making complicated calculations, 1.618 is about as close as I need to get)... or I could translate the parable of the Stachelschweine... or one of the many Sonnets to Orpheus. You probabaly already knew about Project Gutenberg, but there's also Projekt Gutenberg (which as far as I can tell is on the Times website) which has more than any student needs. And when I discovered that OUP will ship to Canada (not from the useless Canadian site though)... I lost another reason to go past the junction.

It's time for the cold.

A Post for Anthony

Anthony called me today. His calls are always fun, especially since he offers each time to reinterpret the going-ons in my life objectively... and nothing fascinates me more than reinterpretations of the going-ons in my life. Of course, short of him hunting down and interrogating the participants, all he's really doing is reinterpreting my interpretations (which, I am proud to say, are generally creative and varied). Anyway... he told me he has just read my blog, and asked whether all blogs are as "self-absorbed."

I suspect that some blogs are not quite so self-absorbed... probably those who aim to serve a public audience; this, however, is not my aim (sure, anyone can read it... but why would they?).

I'm not much of a blog reader (too self-absorbed), but I did enjoy the blog "Stuff White People Like"... I stopped reading it because realizing that I like many of the things they say white people like was just too depressing (their "white people" would be more accurately described as "Kitsilano people" as it has less to do with race than it does class-- in particular, the "class" of those leading superficial, vacuous lives). The blog would be more specifically (and quite appropriately) titled "Stuff Kitsilano People Like "... which is why it's depressing for one to identify with it. Though, at the same time that it's depressing, sometimes it's laugh-out-loud funny. I just went there and looked at some of the latest posts; items 97, 100, and 101 were very funny.

But this ding-in-itself post isn't going to be about me or stuff white people like... it'll be about Anthony.

Anthony likes to fish and smoke cigars, often engaging in both activities at the same time. He sometimes sustains injuries while fishing and while smoking cigars. At least one of these injuries were reported as being the result of recklessly combining the two activities.

A few readers here have questioned the existence of Val. While Anthony constantly refers to her in conversation, he failed for years to produce her at social gatherings, leading many of us to wonder whether or not she is fictional (he is rather creative and sufficiently mindful that he would be able to pull off something like this, and he's also odd enough to derive significant enjoyment from accomplishing such a ruse) . Val's existence was first confirmed several years ago by Dominika, who saw them at the Airport as they were leaving for a trip to Hawaii. Dominika duly reported this encounter, but as we are incredulous people by trade, we were not immediately convinced, and wondered whether or not she had been co-opted (through bribery?).

I am happy to report that Val is real-- real, and fun. She and Anthony have twice visited Tofino, and are expected to visit again. Please contact me directly if you would like to schedule a polygraph session.

Coffee break here

Yes, a much better view than at the Tim Hortons on Dunsmuir.

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Another Weekend at Home... Diving... Headlong into the Pit of Schopenhauerian Enlightenment

Spending a weekend at home isn't so strange, is it? But I suppose I'd gotten so used going somewhere on the weekend that remaining at home still seems remarkable to me. Of course, when I say "at home," I don't mean in my house-- I mean Tofino. "Going somewhere" usually involves loading up my car with stuff (skis, boards, packs, food, water, &c) and driving somewhere far away to do something... there would be highway on ramps and off ramps and junctions and exits, and planned and unplanned stops along the way. Here, I could pretty much walk to do everything that I do. The reason I don't walk is because of the stuff I have to carry, not the distance.

Yesterday was a good surf day... not too big, not too small, and one could get rides of a reasonable length... unfortunately, I had forgotten how to surf. It happens sometimes. I had simply forgotten. I tried to remind and convince myself that I can surf by thinking of all the excellent, memorable rides I've had this year. It didn't work. I couldn't figure it out. Perhaps it was because I was supposed to go diving yesterday, but it was postponed until today. Maybe I had been looking forward to being underwater so much that I couldn't quite get the hang of being on the surface. Whatever it was, I'm sure it'll be temporary. I've experienced this before.

I am going down to the dock in a few hours to go for a dive. I'm really looking forward to it... but am still so paranoid about surfer's ears that I'm a little worried about the ride back... cold, wet, in an open boat. Maybe I should get earmuffs. I don't want to have to get my ears drilled.

Despite the vow I made at this year's Martini Migration to never attend another social event in Tofino, I went to a Christmas party on Friday. I survived, and am now a pricked porcupine instead of a cold porcupine. I think I may have to invest in a heater.

And... speaking of porcupines... so much for my resolution to not buy P&P until I finish FRPSR and WWR. I saw that P&P vol. 1 was on sale for about half price at Oxford University Press USA... so I ordered them both. I also want a copy of P&P in German... because it would be super fun to try to read it in German. There's no way I could do WWR in German, but P&P I could probably work on. The first time I heard "Hélène," I didn't understand a word of it, and now I can read Desnos... I've got to start somewhere... and Schopenhauer is probably an age appropriate idol... I should get posters of Schopenhauer and hang them all over the place. Rilke could also do... but he's too much of an artist.

Miracle

He actually sat by himself and looked at the camera. Was this my hallucination?
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Onshore Today

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North after work

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Weekend at home...

Ferry rates have gone down significantly... so much so that I might be expected to want to travel more often to the mainland.... but I really don't want to go anywhere anymore. I just don't want to leave. I had been thinking of going to Hawaii for some warm surf this winter... but I've now decided against it. It seems like such an ordeal, having to pack and go through airport security (and customs and immigration... blargh... can't stand customs and immigration... and mostly on the way back).

So I'll be here all winter. Surfing, diving, reading Schopenhauer, playing guitar, baking brioches, translating poetry, playing Dance Dance Revolution, and maybe, if I get around to it, work on updating my website which should have been updated last month. Maybe put in a new floor in one of the rooms? Maybe repaint a few walls (or paint for the first time, even... I've had this "new" wall for over a year now... it's only got primer on it... but no one seems to have noticed that it's a different colour than all the other walls)...

I started implementing my new plan this past weekend.

I went for a surf on Saturday. It was rainy and windy but turned out to be an awesome day. I hadn't surfed in so long that I wasn't even sure I'd make it out past the break... it was looking pretty big... and I had my little board (which yes, we all agree, is huge, but it's _my_ little board, so there). Anyway, I got out without difficulty... twice! (definitely too tired by the third try though... and too too too tired to go again on Sunday... hadn't surfed in a month and ouch... I felt it in my arms)

I wanted to tell you all about how amazing a surf day it was, but the thing is... I'm just not that good a writer. I don't even know whether it's possible to write that well, that is, to be able to convey any of what surfing is about with words. In _Wild Geese Flying Backwards_ (or whatever the title was), Tom Robbins had a piece on kissing. And what stuck with me about that particular piece of writing was how disappointing it was. I had been looking forward to hearing what Robbins had to say about kissing, he who can make me care about a can of beans and a dirty sock... I remember understanding from the piece that Tom Robbins likes kissing... but it wasn't so much a piece about kissing as it was a piece that says "kissing is awesome" over and over again... but I guess kissing is one of those things that you can't really write about, even if you are Tom Robbins. Surfing is like that... you can't really describe what it's about... you can't really get into why it's so wonderful... you can't explain why you want to spend huge chunks of your life doing it. Surfing is as inexplicably great as kissing. (no, I don't think they're comparable... but, I think we might be mostly able to agree that a good surf is better than a bad kiss, and a good kiss is better than a bad surf... but maybe not)

Sunday was all about reading and playing guitar... tried to re-teach myself songs that I had forgotten (and now cannot really believe I was ever able to play, even poorly, never mind passably). I had my gigantic dictionaries out with my Rilke and Desnos and Eliot and Pound and Seidel... and, I decided that if I make my way through the tough books (recently got an out of print _On The Fourthfold Root..._ from MacLeods), I would reward myself with the rather expensive two volume _Parerga & Paralipomena_. I will not allow myself to read (or buy!) P&P until I'm done FRPSR and WWR 1&2. Will not. Will not! WILL NOT!

Monday was for diving. We went over what looked like a crab killing field... everywhere were broken crab bits (carapace of crab). As I was thinking about all the death and destruction in the sea, we came upon a starfish, draped over an overturned dungeness crab twice its size, obviously in the process of killing and eating it. I was reminded:

"The pleasure in this world, it has been said, outweighs the pain; or, at any rate, there is an even balance between the two. If the reader wishes to see shortly whether this statement is true, let him compare the respective feelings of two animals, one of which is engaged in eating the other."

Ouch. Okay. No more P&P until I finish FFR and WWR. Not even the free bits of P&P on the internet.

Apparently I haven't been using nearly enough data transfer for my Blackberry plan...

Walking the dog after work. South.

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