My stickers still haven't arrived. I have been checking my mail everyday, hoping to find that package from Texas in my mailbox. But it hasn't happened yet. I did, however, get a letter from SFU today... I could see "Thinking of the World" through the envelop.... and I was pretty sure that it was soliciting a donation. I wasn't even going to open it... but I did... and found that it was a letter from the English department asking for money rather than the university asking for money... and, it was sent from the Chair of the English Department, which now happens to be the prof who supervised my honours thesis... which really was nothing more than a longish paper, the length of which was such that I couldn't finish it in one night, unlike every other paper I had ever written.
Incidentally, he was also the supervisor for T's MA thesis, which I never did find out whether he finished or not. Anyway, I wrote and said hello and told him I was in Tofino, and said to look me up if he's ever out here. He wrote back and said that he would, perhaps this summer, even. Imagine that... a visit from several lifetimes ago. I think the last time I saw him might have been September 11th, 2002.
I realized that I've really, finally been able to not think of the world much anymore. This evening, my thoughts are mainly about my surfboard... my beautiful blue surfboard, with whom I had a date at Cox Bay. We were out in the small glassy surf... and I was totally in love. I was on the green and walked the blue path between the two stringers. I had an exchange with a shortboarder:
him: wow! you're getting a lot of mileage on that!
me: yup.
him: how big is that?
me: 11.
him: I'm on a 6'10"
me: that's a lot of work.
him: well, I figure the harder I work, the faster I learn.
me: yeah, I suppose, if you like pain and misery.
Mwahahaha.
Of course, it was such tiny surf today that it really was my beach... well... mine and Brigitte's... she was borrowing my 11' NSP. Every wave was green... and now she wants to get an 11' board too. Before you know it, we'll have this place looking like waikiki.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Except it *is* all about the surf...
I played receptionist all day. It is a role I have mastered. I could do this on Broadway. I'm into it... being helpful all day long is super awesome.
Three days with no surf was getting to be a bit much... walking to exhaustion on the beach is not the same as surfing to exhaustion... it's "nice"... but it's just not the same. (I've just realized that in my mind, the word "nice" is about on par with "special"... actually, a little below, because "special" doesn't have the bastardy lineage that "nice" does... I doubt anyone notices it, but when I say "Have a nice day!" (which is exceedingly rare) I really mean "Go f*** yourself!"... so "nice" is really not "nice"... and... I must admit... I've grown more resentful of the word recently... there's really not a whole lot wrong with the word... so I had best drop it before it becomes a thing (too late, I know... I'm sorry))
Anyway... the surf is back. After checking North (small and crappy), we went out to Long Beach without checking Cox. Long Beach was choppy and bad... but we went out anyway... I got some time on the green (it's actually kind of necessary now... I am not good with not getting time on the green anymore)... and we got bored and decided to paddle around to the other side of Lovekin Rock. I have never done this before... ULTE2 and I were going to do this one day, but instead, we paddled to the inside of it and climbed on, and walked around the rock to the top). It was a long paddle today... especially for me because I didn't want to be anywhere near the rock with my beautiful, shiny new glass board... so I went waaaaay beyond the rock to get around it. One paddled close to the rock (she had an epoxy Southpoint... the exact same board as my first board)... and the other one decided to follow me, because she was borrowing my board (my Southpoint)... I should have told her... that board can crash into the rocks and survive... in fact, I have crashed it into the rocks before... and surfed through salal, too... so it was completely unnecessary to be as far out as she went. There were no more waves to be had on the other side of the rocks... and so when one complained of being tired, we all left...
Instead of going home though, I went to Cox Bay to check the surf... it looked better than Long Beach... so I went out again. It was awesome! Lots of time on the green! The lesson, I suppose... is never to skip checking Cox.
And now wherever I go... I'm looking for targets for sticker bombing. Unless something changes (i.e I get a new hobby)... there'll be stickers from here to South Island.
And... on a completely unrelated note, I have a little twist on an old saying:
The original: If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him. --Arthur Schopenhauer
The twist: If you want to know your true opinion of someone, gauge your desire to sniff a sweater that he has left behind. --Ding-in-itself.
It works with sweatshirts too.
Three days with no surf was getting to be a bit much... walking to exhaustion on the beach is not the same as surfing to exhaustion... it's "nice"... but it's just not the same. (I've just realized that in my mind, the word "nice" is about on par with "special"... actually, a little below, because "special" doesn't have the bastardy lineage that "nice" does... I doubt anyone notices it, but when I say "Have a nice day!" (which is exceedingly rare) I really mean "Go f*** yourself!"... so "nice" is really not "nice"... and... I must admit... I've grown more resentful of the word recently... there's really not a whole lot wrong with the word... so I had best drop it before it becomes a thing (too late, I know... I'm sorry))
Anyway... the surf is back. After checking North (small and crappy), we went out to Long Beach without checking Cox. Long Beach was choppy and bad... but we went out anyway... I got some time on the green (it's actually kind of necessary now... I am not good with not getting time on the green anymore)... and we got bored and decided to paddle around to the other side of Lovekin Rock. I have never done this before... ULTE2 and I were going to do this one day, but instead, we paddled to the inside of it and climbed on, and walked around the rock to the top). It was a long paddle today... especially for me because I didn't want to be anywhere near the rock with my beautiful, shiny new glass board... so I went waaaaay beyond the rock to get around it. One paddled close to the rock (she had an epoxy Southpoint... the exact same board as my first board)... and the other one decided to follow me, because she was borrowing my board (my Southpoint)... I should have told her... that board can crash into the rocks and survive... in fact, I have crashed it into the rocks before... and surfed through salal, too... so it was completely unnecessary to be as far out as she went. There were no more waves to be had on the other side of the rocks... and so when one complained of being tired, we all left...
Instead of going home though, I went to Cox Bay to check the surf... it looked better than Long Beach... so I went out again. It was awesome! Lots of time on the green! The lesson, I suppose... is never to skip checking Cox.
And now wherever I go... I'm looking for targets for sticker bombing. Unless something changes (i.e I get a new hobby)... there'll be stickers from here to South Island.
And... on a completely unrelated note, I have a little twist on an old saying:
The original: If you want to know your true opinion of someone, watch the effect produced in you by the first sight of a letter from him. --Arthur Schopenhauer
The twist: If you want to know your true opinion of someone, gauge your desire to sniff a sweater that he has left behind. --Ding-in-itself.
It works with sweatshirts too.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Take the surf away, and what have you got?
The best place on earth, that's what.
It's been super windy these past two days... gale warnings have been in effect for pretty much the entire weekend. It was windy enough that it not only ruined any chance of surfing, it even messed up the dive plans. Instead of doing what we had set out to do, we just went for a dive around the corner of Grice Point... going down to a maximum depth of 50ft. The visibility was about 6 ft. It was not exactly a fun dive. Added to that was some equipment issues... for dives in the past, I've been wearing my 5/4 zipperless hooded surf wetsuit which fits me perfectly well and therefore does not flush (except in serious surf). Everyone around here thinks I'm nuts, because those who are dumb enough (or impecunious enough) to dive in a wetsuit dive in a 7+7.... which totals 14mm where I have my 5mm, and 7mm where I have my 4mm. They got a whole bunch of all new wetsuits in, and they managed to convince me to try one of their new 7+7 suits. The women's suits didn't fit, so I had on a men's. As you can probably still remember even if you haven't seen me in a while, I am not shaped like a man (though I will have to do another paragraph on this later), so it flushed considerably more than my perfectly fitted surf wetsuit. To make it even more entertaining, I had 38 pounds on my weight belt as usual... and discovered upon descent (or attempt at descent) that another 9mm of neoprene basically meant that I wasn't going down. My bouancy options were float, and float higher. Blargh. Anyway... eventually it did all work out... and I got tangled up in a bed of kelp. Blargh.
There must be something wrong with me... because I'm really looking forward to the next dive.
Since I wasn't going surfing (couldn't surf on Friday night either... went for a walk on Schooner and Long Beach instead... it looked nasty at Cox (there were kite surfers out... never a good sign)) , I went to Comber's Beach for a walk instead. I hadn't been there for a couple of years. The last time I was there, it was with Tina during the winter of my 27th year... I remember drawing sierpinski gaskets in the sand. Comber's Beach was the first beach I saw on my first trip to Tofino on the May long weekend in 2006. We saw it at low tide, and there were many of this sort of jellyfish thing that seemed to have a sail. I've since found out what they were and forgotten. It was an excellent walk... and one during which I was accompanied only by my own thoughts. An eagle re-engaged me in the world, and then we both left.
After Comber's, I came home and made dinner... and the previous solitary walk was so goo that I then decided to go walk on Chesterman Beach just after sunset. I had "Surfer Girl" stuck in my head the whole time.
This morning, I had breakfast with ULTE1, cleaned, and then went for a walk into town. I waited for check-ins that showed up late... and then walked to Tonquin and spent some time on the beach. It wasn't a solitary walk... which is fine... because it's always good to switch it up... especially since I live so much inside my own head that most of the time, the rest of the world could just not exist for all I cared.
It is important to not live so much inside one's own head, David Foster Wallace reminds me... which is why I'm so looking forward to sticker bombing! What would be a better way to engage with the rest of the world! I'm tempted to order more of those stickers from Texas even before the first batch arrives... and I'm so hoping it arrives soon.
It's not all about the surf, apparently. This is the best place on earth.
It's been super windy these past two days... gale warnings have been in effect for pretty much the entire weekend. It was windy enough that it not only ruined any chance of surfing, it even messed up the dive plans. Instead of doing what we had set out to do, we just went for a dive around the corner of Grice Point... going down to a maximum depth of 50ft. The visibility was about 6 ft. It was not exactly a fun dive. Added to that was some equipment issues... for dives in the past, I've been wearing my 5/4 zipperless hooded surf wetsuit which fits me perfectly well and therefore does not flush (except in serious surf). Everyone around here thinks I'm nuts, because those who are dumb enough (or impecunious enough) to dive in a wetsuit dive in a 7+7.... which totals 14mm where I have my 5mm, and 7mm where I have my 4mm. They got a whole bunch of all new wetsuits in, and they managed to convince me to try one of their new 7+7 suits. The women's suits didn't fit, so I had on a men's. As you can probably still remember even if you haven't seen me in a while, I am not shaped like a man (though I will have to do another paragraph on this later), so it flushed considerably more than my perfectly fitted surf wetsuit. To make it even more entertaining, I had 38 pounds on my weight belt as usual... and discovered upon descent (or attempt at descent) that another 9mm of neoprene basically meant that I wasn't going down. My bouancy options were float, and float higher. Blargh. Anyway... eventually it did all work out... and I got tangled up in a bed of kelp. Blargh.
There must be something wrong with me... because I'm really looking forward to the next dive.
Since I wasn't going surfing (couldn't surf on Friday night either... went for a walk on Schooner and Long Beach instead... it looked nasty at Cox (there were kite surfers out... never a good sign)) , I went to Comber's Beach for a walk instead. I hadn't been there for a couple of years. The last time I was there, it was with Tina during the winter of my 27th year... I remember drawing sierpinski gaskets in the sand. Comber's Beach was the first beach I saw on my first trip to Tofino on the May long weekend in 2006. We saw it at low tide, and there were many of this sort of jellyfish thing that seemed to have a sail. I've since found out what they were and forgotten. It was an excellent walk... and one during which I was accompanied only by my own thoughts. An eagle re-engaged me in the world, and then we both left.
After Comber's, I came home and made dinner... and the previous solitary walk was so goo that I then decided to go walk on Chesterman Beach just after sunset. I had "Surfer Girl" stuck in my head the whole time.
This morning, I had breakfast with ULTE1, cleaned, and then went for a walk into town. I waited for check-ins that showed up late... and then walked to Tonquin and spent some time on the beach. It wasn't a solitary walk... which is fine... because it's always good to switch it up... especially since I live so much inside my own head that most of the time, the rest of the world could just not exist for all I cared.
It is important to not live so much inside one's own head, David Foster Wallace reminds me... which is why I'm so looking forward to sticker bombing! What would be a better way to engage with the rest of the world! I'm tempted to order more of those stickers from Texas even before the first batch arrives... and I'm so hoping it arrives soon.
It's not all about the surf, apparently. This is the best place on earth.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Comber's Beach, 3 years later
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Friday, June 19, 2009
The Miracle of Mindfulness
Years ago, during a late-night chat in the seedy Cambie Hotel bar, Csaba suggested that I read The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nat Han. He wrote the title and author down on a beer-dampened coaster and handed it to me.
I did end up reading the book... but for a long while, it had been the last of its kind. Perhaps it was because the message of mindfulness was not contaminated by other similar thoughts of its kind that I was able to truly absorb its significance. The very simple idea of being mindful stuck with me... and eventually turned into the maxim "You cannot fault people for their limitations."
You cannot fault people for their limitations, nor can I fault myself for my limitations. The only difference with my own limitations is that I can remove them, slowly and deliberately. Last night, I paddled out at the corner at Cox Bay. It took me thirty minutes of solid paddling to get out. Wave after wave pushed me to shore, and I kept fighting my way out. During every other surf session of my entire life, I gave up under those conditions long before I hit the 15 minute mark. Yesterday, I paddled relentlessly for 30 minutes. When I got out past the break, the glassy swells were the prettiest I had ever seen... and as it turns out... it was overhead... which is a whole lot bigger than what I've gotten used to in the last two weeks. I caught one good ride on the green, and decided that it was a great surf day. The rest of the session involved me fighting my way back out once more (15 to 20 minutes of paddling out), catching a wave that closed out, and deciding that that was enough.
Limitations change. I change my limitations.
And the limitation of others-- I am actively (and I mean very actively, every day now) learning to accept with more mindfulness.
The wind seems to have picked up today. I cannot go surfing all the time. And as I'm certainly not planning on sitting around waiting for some guy to call who may not... I am going to do my first deep dive tomorrow morning. I'll be going to 100ft... focus is not optional.
I did end up reading the book... but for a long while, it had been the last of its kind. Perhaps it was because the message of mindfulness was not contaminated by other similar thoughts of its kind that I was able to truly absorb its significance. The very simple idea of being mindful stuck with me... and eventually turned into the maxim "You cannot fault people for their limitations."
You cannot fault people for their limitations, nor can I fault myself for my limitations. The only difference with my own limitations is that I can remove them, slowly and deliberately. Last night, I paddled out at the corner at Cox Bay. It took me thirty minutes of solid paddling to get out. Wave after wave pushed me to shore, and I kept fighting my way out. During every other surf session of my entire life, I gave up under those conditions long before I hit the 15 minute mark. Yesterday, I paddled relentlessly for 30 minutes. When I got out past the break, the glassy swells were the prettiest I had ever seen... and as it turns out... it was overhead... which is a whole lot bigger than what I've gotten used to in the last two weeks. I caught one good ride on the green, and decided that it was a great surf day. The rest of the session involved me fighting my way back out once more (15 to 20 minutes of paddling out), catching a wave that closed out, and deciding that that was enough.
Limitations change. I change my limitations.
And the limitation of others-- I am actively (and I mean very actively, every day now) learning to accept with more mindfulness.
The wind seems to have picked up today. I cannot go surfing all the time. And as I'm certainly not planning on sitting around waiting for some guy to call who may not... I am going to do my first deep dive tomorrow morning. I'll be going to 100ft... focus is not optional.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sustainable Joy
All this talk of Joy has one of my friends wondering whether the Dalai Lama has hacked into my blog and commandeered it. I don't think the Dalai Lama is much of a hacker... but one never knows, now does one?
As the weekend approaches, I suppose some attention has been redirected to the question of whether or not this amazing surf crush will be in Tofino soon. Impossible to know... but one thing is for sure, that sticker is not going to be here before the weekend. I approved the final proof early yesterday morning, and by the afternoon, the custom vinyl cut-out decal for my new board was on its way to me.
I've had such a good time revelling in the possibilities these past weeks that I am a little fearful of change. Reality and knowledge can only limit possibilities... not expand them... which, I suppose, is whence came the cliché "ignorance is bliss." But I guess I'm going to find out one way or the other, sooner or later.
After some thought, I wonder whether my transference of so much energy into my new board is a pre-emptive coping mechanism... and then after further thought, I realize that I don't care if it is... because... what a beautiful board! How my whole life has changed! Look how it gleams in the sun! Think how many years of joy this board will bring! Calculate how many amazing rides I'll have! It is pure joy... and therefore pure good.
It is now two hours before meeting up with the surf team... when I get to show off my new boyfriend.
As the weekend approaches, I suppose some attention has been redirected to the question of whether or not this amazing surf crush will be in Tofino soon. Impossible to know... but one thing is for sure, that sticker is not going to be here before the weekend. I approved the final proof early yesterday morning, and by the afternoon, the custom vinyl cut-out decal for my new board was on its way to me.
I've had such a good time revelling in the possibilities these past weeks that I am a little fearful of change. Reality and knowledge can only limit possibilities... not expand them... which, I suppose, is whence came the cliché "ignorance is bliss." But I guess I'm going to find out one way or the other, sooner or later.
After some thought, I wonder whether my transference of so much energy into my new board is a pre-emptive coping mechanism... and then after further thought, I realize that I don't care if it is... because... what a beautiful board! How my whole life has changed! Look how it gleams in the sun! Think how many years of joy this board will bring! Calculate how many amazing rides I'll have! It is pure joy... and therefore pure good.
It is now two hours before meeting up with the surf team... when I get to show off my new boyfriend.
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